The Children of Beccar

Whether I am ready to confront some adoption-related issues or not, I am taking the plunge. I have just started volunteering at a children's home in Beccar, a middle class area north of Buenos Aires. No one uses the term "orphanage", only "hogar" (meaning "home"). Call it a euphemism if you'd like, but I think the distinction is so important. There are ten lovely children, between the ages of 6 and 13, four girls and six boys. Two of the boys lost their respective parents to HIV and are also HIV positive. There is a young girl that moved into the home recently whose uncle sexually abused her. It is clear that she is struggling socially, but the home can't afford to have her see a psychiatrist. The other children are healthy and come from relatively non-violent backgrounds (i.e. they have parents in jail, or with drug problems, or in poverty). Within moments of walking into the house, I had three kids wrapping themselves around me. They were instantly all intrigued by my shaved hair style and nose ring! Liliana (she runs the home) thinks it is good for the children to see "difference" in reference to how I dress as well as my cultural background. The children also don't speak any English, which is a little challenging at times, but it's a great opportunity for me to learn from them. They are all so sweet and affectionate. I left the home feeling a confused mix of happiness and despair. I knew that this wouldn't be easy for me emotionally and mentally, but it all hit me rather suddenly on the train home. I opened up to Jimena, my volunteer coordinator, about it and she offered some comfort. I kept alternating between thoughts of myself as an infant in the orphanage and thoughts of the children that I had just met. One thing that never changes when you grow older is the innate desire to be loved and cared for. Children and adults share such vulnerability always, but tend to respond differently when the desire is recognized. Somewhere along the way adults tend to create more distance among one another out of self-preservation (whether it is wise or not is irrelevant), but children tend to be open and accepting of anyone that wants to care for them. Maybe I am generalizing too much... but kids seem to want to tell you about their families, hobbies, friends, pets, interests, etc. within the first 15 minutes of meeting. Then they will have numerous questions to ask you about your personal life. Children are also constantly looking for contact comfort, which I think is another desire that we never lose with age, but for some reason the simple act of holding hands when you're an adult has exaggerated (in my opinion) implicit meanings of intimacy. The kids I met in Beccar were sitting in my lap and grabbing onto my hands within 5 minutes of being there. What happens to such comfortability and trust when we get older?